I have been living with my husband for 7 years and have a 3-year-old child. We started dating when I was 16 years old.
At first everything was good, I fell head over heels in love. His parents were against me from the very beginning, I tried to like him, no matter what I did, they were smiling in my eyes and always insulting me behind my back. My son was born, we moved to the city where his parents live, and then it happened!
His mom and dad are drinkers, his mother was always complaining to her husband to bring me to her child, saying that she missed him. And in fact I go there, she is always drinking, the child once a day will take in his arms and then continue to drink, I was terribly pissed off. Once I came to visit her, my mother-in-law had a friend over, they were drinking, she was a mess, she asked me to hold the baby, I did not let her, came out of the room and heard so much dirt in my address. I burst into tears, my husband called me, I told him, he was on my side, he got angry, told me to go home and not to go there again.
After a while we argued with my husband over nothing, he started to tell me that I lied about my mother, she said that I made it all up and he believed her, not me. Living there it seemed hell to me, the baby got sick, my husband is on a trip, I go in the rain with an 8-month-old baby with a fever of 39 to the pharmacy for antipyretic, my mother-in-law could not go, she was tired after work and drinking again. My husband is always away on business. I suffered all kinds of beatings and humiliation from him and his parents. My husband used to say: “It’s my mom, she has the right to say whatever she wants, but you shouldn’t open your mouth towards my parents.
We moved in, he shows up. We went to school together. He was in love with me at the time. Everything spun. It had been a long time since I had experienced such care and attention to myself. He’d fly in one call at a time when I was in trouble. I told my husband I was filing for divorce. At first he said, in his own way: “yes please, I don’t care.” But after two weeks he was crying and begging me not to leave. He is not a stranger to me, and if you think about it, you can remember the good moments with him. I separated from my lover. Everything was good with my husband, as if he was a different person, he took care of me, although when after the birth (the delivery was very complicated) I had a bad stomach ache. He yelled at me and said he could not hurt so much stop whining and pretending, and generally keep it all inside, and I started bleeding and was taken away by ambulance. Now he was the same old, good, kind person, but he didn’t last long. Two months later everything was back to normal.
He was a cruel egoist, he had nothing to do with me, saying every week let’s get a divorce, insulting me. Of course I should leave, but I have no place to go, I have a child, I am on maternity leave, it costs a lot of money to rent an apartment. Every day I blame myself for this cheating, I hate myself for it, but I don’t feel guilty about my husband, he has done so much, I have suffered so much, there is nothing but hatred for him and his parents. I just feel like a very bad person, and I can’t forget and live in peace.
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